How Not to Make Brownies

And no, I don’t mean small girls in brown dresses. Or yellow jumpers and brown culottes, which is what I think I used to wear as a brownie. Either that or my mother bought me Really Bad Clothes when I was growing up.

When I first saw the recipe for marshmallow chocolate brownies, I was excited. It doesn’t take a lot; anything with chocolate in it tends to excite me these days, being off the booze (the vascular dementia drugs give me horrible headaches. I have pretty much had a permanent headache for the past 3 weeks, which is annoying to say the least. I have worked out ways to keep it under control though, by having NO caffeine (sob!) and no alcohol (bit of a bugger, like my wine) and eating on a very regular basis (like every hour or so)). So I was imagining gooey chocolatey goodness, with soft, fluffy marshmallows like little stars in it…

I followed the recipe. That was my first mistake apparently, because it told me to bake said brownies in a hot oven for 20 minutes. I did so, than removed them. The top was burnt, and they felt suspiciously soft.

“Oh well,” I thought to myself, “I’ve never made this recipe before, maybe they’re supposed to be like that.” I dutifully left them to cool and did some work for my course.

When they were cool and I tried to cut them up, I discovered that although the top was burnt (due I think to the marshmallows being in close proximity to the top?) the underneath was rather more gooey than I had anticipated. Imagine a burnt crust on top of raw brownie mix, and you’ve got the right idea.

Annoying, as I had to take those brownies somewhere. And I didn’t have any more ingredients. What to do? I ended up putting them back in the oven for another 30 minutes. After which they were cooked, but, well, had a nice topping of charcoal. Yum.

Weirdly, they actually tasted OK. Quite nice, dense a bit chewy, like a good brownie should be. No sign of the marshmallows though. They were completely gone. Bastards.

Next time, I’ll be making HFF’s ginger cake


4 responses to “How Not to Make Brownies

  1. They clearly were on crack when they said ‘hot oven’. Every recipe I ever did see for brownies quite clearly says ‘moderate oven’. The swine.

    The vascular dementia drugs sound hideous. You poor love. I send you metaphorical glasses and glasses of wine, until you can have the real ones again.

  2. I mixed marshmallows into a brownie mixture recently and all the ones near the top burnt too, the ones inside the mix disintegrated.

  3. Not being much of a brownie fanatic, I have never in my life attempted to make any. I’m tempted to have a go now, just to experiment. I appreciate that a crisp crust and a squidgy inner is the desired result, but a roaring hot oven doesn’t seem to be the way to go.

    I am immured inside the house by tsunami, which is irritating, because I have not been able to post your card. But I am sending my bestest of bestest wishes in your poor caffeine-starved, drug-tortured direction! Cake soon!

  4. I would very much like to contact you by email as I have a question that I would prefer not to ask on comment. If you are happy to do so please can you email me on with your contact details?
    many thanks and best wishes

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