OK, I know I haven’t posted here for a long time. If anyone’s pregnancy radar has been going off, I’m not. Definitely not. Blame a combination of moving to a house with no internet or phone line, apathy, and an intense desire to have a break from all things conception-related.
We had a break for a few months, and it was good. I felt human again. There were other things in life, like blue cheese, good wine, and of course our Obligatory Infertility Animal; our retired greyhound (who is utterly gorgeous by the way, and gentle, and funny, and helps to mend a broken heart). This week, we came back down to earth with a bump. Or an almighty crash, if you like.
I had a HSG this week. I told them, in the nicest possible way, that they should cover me with antibiotics. They said it would “depend on their protocol”. They couldn’t get the catheter through the adhesions into my uterus, so inflated the balloon in my cervix. Yes, the same poor, battered cervix that got forcibly dilated earlier this year. They got some dye through the not insubstantial adhesions into my uterus, which showed more scarring near my right tube. My right tube was open, my left was not (which surprised/disappointed me actually, as I’ve always been told they were both open. Liars). And then I started swearing at them because it hurt so much, and they stopped. They didn’t give me antibiotics.
They did, however, give me an infection.
Great news for adhesions and future fertility, hey? I went to my GP, who was surprisingly helpful, and phoned the gynae reg on call, and gave me antibiotics. I really hope they kick in soon, though, as somewhat worryingly the pain is getting worse. It’s not so bad that I can’t function, or eat cake, however. But it’s there.
I’ll keep a close eye on it. If it continues to get worse I’ll have to go to A&E I suppose and try and see gynae. I don’t know what else to do. My consultant hasn’t answered his phone this week. Helpful!
So to say I’m a bit pissed off is an understatement. I don’t know where we go from here, fertility-wise. I suspect they’d need to do more surgery for IVF to even be an option. I didn’t know if I wanted IVF, it scares me (as does pregnancy now – all I can see is the spectre of pain and failure and loss). But now knowing that I might not be able to have it, or not yet, well I feel disappointed. Which tells me that we need to at least give it a go; I’m not ready to give up yet. We need a plan. And I need to get rid of this bloody infection.