Lobotomies

Well, I’m not pregnant. No surprises there, then. My rocks deflated over the last few days and I started spotting this morning. Sigh. I have been to the supermarket and bought crisps, wine and chocolate this morning, and intend to have finished all of them by this evening.

I’ve been doing this whole pregnancy/trying to get pregnant/infertility crap for 20 months now. I just counted. That’s depressing. I know that there are many people who have been doing this for far longer, and I don’t mean to sound all “why me, this is shit” when it is less in comparison, but I am getting really, really fed up of this. It’s rubbish. And everywhere, are people that fall on erect penises (sorry, WFI, I had to steal it, I loved it so much!) and get pregnant. Humph!

I went to a barbecue this weekend, at my friend’s house. She’s a nice girl. She has a nice baby. However, she also has lots of friends with babies who all like to talk about baby-led weaning (whatever that is, and no, I don’t really want to know) and nappy contents and vomit and sleeping patterns, and they think that everyone else wants to hear about those things as well.

Mr W and I were trying to escape the many babies (and their parents, who all seemed to have had a lobotomy along with their successful reproduction, gazing goofily at darling Harper* and coming out with comments like “I didn’t know what love was until I became a mummy to my little boo boo bear.” That was a direct quote by the way.) by watching the cricket. For me to watch the cricket means I am really trying to escape something, as I hate cricket. However, even then we could not escape the women who came over, sat next to us, and started a discussion about teething.

I swear, if I do manage to have a living baby, I will never be one of those women. I will not talk about my baby’s bowel habits in public, or how many times they bit my boob that morning.

(I should add that after everyone left, nice baby went to bed and we had grown-up conversation with wine and a very strange film about giant bugs. Far more civilised.)

And to top today off perfectly some complete dimwit that I went to school with whinged on somebody’s facebook status about how she wanted a dog instead of a baby. She’s pregnant. Grrr. I spent the rest of today shaking my fist at the sky, saying “Why, God? What the bloody hell are you playing at up there? Because I just don’t understand any more.”

*Yes I did use Posh’s new daughter’s name as an example. Because it’s stupid.

Also, please can you all think of questions for me to ask the infertility doctor next week? Because I’m running out, and I’m sure you can think of some (possibly slightly more intelligent) questions. So far I have:

  • Why is my lining so shit?
  • Why are my periods getting lighter?
  • Why does nobody seem to be doing anything about it?
  • Why is my cervix painful each month?
  • Why has nobody given me any hormones to try and increase the thickness of my lining?
  • Why do gynaecologists blame my polycystic ovaries for my light periods when I didn’t have light periods before I got Asherman’s? And I ovulate every month?
  • Will you try IUI and if so what are you going to do to try and sort out my endometrium so it isn’t a wasted effort?
  • Will you do IVF and will it work?
  • Will someone please monitor my lining throughout my cycle and then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
  • Please don’t tell me it’s hopeless. Please. I’m not ready to give up on this.
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6 responses to “Lobotomies

  1. http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/
    I think you need this today. 🙂
    xoxo

  2. Oh God, I did need that today, thank you!
    (My husband has been giving me strange looks for the last half hour as I keep snorting away to myself. I can’t believe some people do that!)

  3. Glad you liked my turn of phrase!

    Yes, there is nothing more dull than mothers talking about their babies. I tend to survive by watching the other parents. You can tell they aren’t listening to what Mum A is saying you waiting for a gap in the flow so they can talk about their baby. It really is quite funny (and distracting) to watch.

    Can you ask the Doctor what investigations they are going to (laparoscopy/ hysteroscopy/ 3D scan/ cycle monitoring etc).

  4. DIRECT QUOTE?
    Christ. Pass the bucket!

    Those are excellent and very intelligent questions. I hope the answers are equally substantial and fruitful.

    It ain’t hopeless, lovey. I’m positive.

  5. I’m so lucky. I know what love is and will know what it is even if I never have a child. So glad it didn’t take waiting until my early thirties and forcing someone’s head through my lady-parts to teach me.

    GAH.

    PCOS gives you light periods? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I wish. If anyone ever says that to you ever again look them dead in the eye (remember your medical training) and point out it’s MORE likely to cause heavy periods, so could they stop talking utter crap.

    Otherwise questions good.

    (I didn’t like it as such, but as I admire Harper Lee, I was prepared to think well of anyone who called their daughter it. Beckhams have now officially effin’ ruined it).

    • I remain unconvinced that the Beckhams know who Harper Lee is… If they did I might be slightly more amenable to it! And a middle name of “Seven”?!? Don’t get me started on heads in boxes…

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