It’s colder in the UK

I haven’t died, although various essential parts of the house, car and my own intestines have been conspiring to either finish me off themselves, or to cause me to want to fly straight back to Australia. At least I was warm there.

There is something wrong with my central heating. Wrong in the way that I don’t have any. I did when I arrived back, a week ago, which was nice and good, as I was somewhat incapacitated with food poisoning (what a lovely gift to bring back to the UK!) but as of yesterday, the boiler, or the thermostat has given up and stropped off somewhere, probably to drier, warmer climes where they can lie on a beach and relax in the sunshine. The man from British Gas is here as I type, so I’m hoping he can sort it out quickly, and without too much trouble.

Can you tell I’m cold at all?

Anyway, apart from the food poisoning, and the absence of my husband, who is returning next week, the trip back was quite pleasant. I would thoroughly recommend business class, especially if you don’t have to pay for it. I got to sit in the business class lounge, and when the time came to board, could walk straight past the large queue of people waiting to board and onto the plane. No doubt they were looking at me, wondering why on earth I was walking past them, dressed in a hoody and jeans and not looking at all smart.

Somewhat unfortunately, when I boarded the plane, the general image I portrayed that I really didn’t belong in business class continued. I spent an inordinate amount of time fiddling with the seat controls, and all the little things stored in the arm rest, didn’t know how to work the table, and was overly excited about the toiletry bag they gave out, which actually included lip balm. The chap next to me watched me with a sort of benign amusement.

Being business class, they seem to like to feed you, and being Malaysia Airlines, they like to feed you satay before every meal. I like satay, but my clothes don’t as I discovered when I spilt satay sauce all down my top within an hour of being on board. I spent the rest of the flight looking like I’d splashed vomit on myself. Oh dear. Not the elegant look I was hoping for. Perhaps the chocolate koalas a friend had given me didn’t help, either.

Being able to lie down flat (at an angle) is definitely worth it. Especially on long flights. The best part was not having to worry about the person in front of you reclining and hitting your knees, as well as the non-static pillow, ensuring I didn’t look like a deranged scarecrow, just a messy vomiter.

Most of my time since I returned has been taken up with trying to sort the house out, which has unfortunately been more difficult than I imagined. The tenants weren’t particularly clean; neither I suspect, was the cleaner. They have managed to make holes in the tiled wall of the bathroom (how?!), to rip off the edge of a window sill and to pull a door frame off a wall. They have also stolen my husband’s screwdriver (a posh one) and various other strange items, none of which was picked up by the agents when they did the inventory. I will be setting my husband on them when he returns.

On the positive side, although I am entirely unconvinced that all of my scarring has gone, or that it has not returned, the last two days of my period have been… reasonable. Not heavy, and not normal, but I would say moderate. This may be too much information, so look away now if you don’t like the mention of menstruation (although if you’re reading this you are probably used to it), but I was standing at the window the other day, when I felt the unmistakeable trickle of blood. I have not felt that, as my periods weren’t heavy enough, for oh about a year now. I actually squeaked with excitement. This is an improvement. Hopefully the endometrium is getting thicker. Apparently the best thing to do to encourage Uteri of Doom to behave is to remove them from the scene of the crime. I have an appointment with Lovely Gynae Woman a week on Tuesday, so I hope that she will have good news for me. And a long time to answer all my questions, of course.

On another positive note, I appear to have won a teddy bear from the fabulous Hairy Farmer Wifey:

That news made my day. She’s fundraising for Bliss, a charity that tries to improve care for premature babies. If you haven’t already, please wander on over to her site and have a read:

And if you feel you can, please donate to this very worthwhile cause:


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