In the spirit of my last post, I started thinking about the things that make me cry. Both “normal” and decidedly less normal, this is my list. Feel free to add your own.

1. Deep Impact. As I said previously, this film makes me cry, religiously. I have never watched it without sobbing from approximately half an hour in until the closing credits. I am usually covered in snot, tears, and my eyes are so swollen I look like I’ve gone ten rounds with a boxing kangaroo. The part where the parents give their baby to their daughter to look after as they know that they will not be able to outrun the tidal wave is especially bad. I made the mistake of watching it with a boyfriend once (now decidedly ex). He spent the last hour of the film watching me, with an expression on his face that was a mixture of confusion and disgust. I tried to explain why it was so upsetting, but all that came out was snorts and sobs. Attractive.

2. Wise Things Gandalf Says. I was a late convert to The Lord of The Rings. I didn’t read them when I was young, as my mother told me they were rubbish, and for some reason I believed her. I’m not sure why, as a) she had never actually read them, and b) I didn’t believe her about anything else. Why I chose that to believe her about is a mystery to me. But I was dragged by the same boyfriend as in (1) to see The Fellowship of the Ring, and promptly dashed out to buy the books afterwards. Not even because of Orlando Bloom. Gandalf is The Man, though. He’s very wise. My most tear-inducing quotes (and these get me every time) are:

“So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

“Farewell… my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea, comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say, Do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.”

Gandalf: “End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path… One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass… And then you see it.”

Pippin: “What? Gandalf?… See what?”

Gandalf: “White shores… and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.”

And I know this was Aragorn, and not Gandalf, but this makes me cry too:

“For Frodo.” Because the thought that all those people would go to war, and certain death, for one (two) friends is too much to bear.

3. Harry Potter. Specifically, book 7. I am a Potter geek, it’s official. I love Potter, I had many conspiracy theories about what was really going on in the books, and discussed them all with a work colleague regularly. He had at least as many as me. Of course, he also wrote his own Potter Fan Fiction, revolving around his adventures in Ravenclaw. I was never quite that bad. Everyone hates watching the films with me, as I spend the entire few hours muttering about how the film-makers have changed things, and how they’ll get into trouble later on, and they just want to watch the bloody things. Anyhow, I was very excited when book 7 came out, and read it in a single day. The husband came downstairs to take me out for coffee, and was disturbed to see me sobbing on the sofa, clutching the now-tear-stained book. “Darling, stop reading it if it upsets you!” He tried to prise the book from my clenched fists. I faught bravely, and won. He went out for coffee, I finished the book, snottily. For those of you wondering, without giving too much away: the silver knife and the small creature, the graveyard, and the woods.

4. Absolutely anything about surrogacy. Because the fact that some women will give of their own womb so generously, sometimes for people they don’t even know before they decide to get into surrogacy astounds me. They truly are angels, those women.

5. Adoption. I keep an eye out on adoption websites. I think the very act of taking a child into your family is beautiful. And the fact that one day, you might receive a phone call telling you that your baby/child is waiting for you, and you get to meet them and take them home, and love them. *sniffs, rubs eyes*

6. Giveaways on This Morning. Yes, unfortunately, you read that right. Once, in the days of Fern and Phil, I was on placement in Hereford. I had a morning free for some reason, so went back to the accommodation to watch This Morning. The giveaway for that day was 40 pairs of shoes. I thought that was such a lovely gift to give away, I cried.

7. Wedding Vows. I don’t usually cry at weddings. I didn’t even cry at my own wedding, but then I didn’t actually recognise the man I was about to marry as I walked down the aisle. I was really nervous, so I thought to myself “Just look at him, it’ll be fine.” I looked at the pale, nervous-looking man standing up and moving to the appropriate place and thought “Who’s that? I’ve never seen him before. Oh well, if he’s standing up there, I must marry him, even if I don’t know who he is.” Anyway, whenever I read the vows, especially “all that I am, I give to you, and all that I have, I share with you,” I cry like a baby. It hits me then just what a big deal a marriage actually is, and what a beautiful commitment I’ve made. And I am so glad I made that commitment to him. (Are you vomiting yet?)

8. I Will Come To You by Hanson. Remember Hanson? No? Go on… they were around about 14 years ago, three brothers, all of them looked like girls, and they had long hair? They did that very descriptive and innovative song, MmmBop? Well, admittedly they weren’t At The Top for very long, but before they disappeared into obscurity/drug-induced hazes, they released this song. I listened to it when I broke up with my first boyfriend, and my heart was broken for the very first time. I don’t care about him now. Frankly, he was more than a little weird (and bizarrely turned up on my doorstep a few years later telling me he was sexy. I disagreed), but I still can’t hear that song without sobbing.

9. I Vow to Thee My Country. I’m a British girl. I like Britain, it’s my home, and I’m proud of it. If nothing else, the prime minister doesn’t run around in budgie-smugglers. When I hear this song, I have an almost unbearable urge to leap up and stand to attention. And it brings a tear to my eye every time. Just read this verse, I dare you not to sniffle:

“And there’s another country, I’ve heard of long ago,  Most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know; We may not count her armies, we may not see her King; Her fortress is a faithful heart, her pride is suffering; And soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase, And her ways are ways of gentleness, and all her paths are peace.”

10. I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Not the fact that however many z-list celebrities and their wives are thrown into the Australian “jungle” for a few weeks. Not the spiders, nor the fact that they apparently become really hungry. Not even the fact that they are forced to eat more parts of the kangaroo than is decent or humane. Nor the “letters from home”. No. Sadly enough, it’s those two loveable Geordie presenters that make me cry. The fact that they really seem to like each other, and their frankly unfunny jokes that they constantly crack. I don’t know why it makes me cry, but it does.

So, all together now… “When you have no light to guide you, and no one to walk beside you….” No? Just me?

OK, let’s try this one… “I vow to thee my country, all earthly things above…”

6.30pm. Time to open the wine.


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