A kangaroo, a duck or a b*ggered uterus?

Well I have absolutely no idea what to make of the Uterus of Doom’s behaviour this month. I’ll admit I was hopeful to start with. Day 1 was better than it has been, and actually an appropriate colour, without going into too much detail and making you all want to see your breakfast again. Day 2 – reasonable. Not ideal, but I’ll take it. Day 3 started off promisingly, but tapered off until when I went to bed, when I burst into tears again.

Day 4 (today) is well, I think it’s the end. The problem is, I only have my old periods to compare it to. And that was 6 years ago, and I can’t really remember the details. I had one period between getting my mirena coil out and getting pregnant, so that’s all I can think of really. (Yes I was one of those annoying people who fell pregnant at the drop of a hat. I think I’ve more than made up for it now though. But oh, how I long to have those days back again!) I remember using super tampons (with some backup sometimes) and having to change them maybe 3-4 times a day, bleeding quite a bit at night, and it lasted 6 days. Now I don’t use tampons. There isn’t really enough for them to be comfortable to be honest, and if I did, would only be the regular ones. Is this it? I know that I used to have heavier periods than, well, everyone I knew, so is this normal? I know it’s not normal for me, but what about everyone else?

I don’t know what to do. Part of me wonders whether I should email Lovely Gynae Woman, to ask her if she wants me to get a scan done to see what the thickness of my lining is, as I can get one done easily here and take the results to her when I go home. The other part of me thinks that actually I just don’t want to know, for if it’s bad news, i.e. thinner than 4mm, or no thicker (please, no!) then I’d feel pretty miserable and hopeless and wanting to throw myself under a bus. And be stuck here, on the other side of the world.

I also wonder whether I should give up on this whole Needle-Woman, drinking haematoma stuff. It may have made me feel a bit more energetic, but it doesn’t seem to be helping the actual amount of blood situation. In fact, since the last two have been lighter than the first after my Mending-The-Uterus-Of-Doom surgery, is it making it worse? Or is it those bastard adhesions sticking together again? Can they really do that with a coil in the way? Does anyone know? Will someone, preferably with the power to heal it and make it all better, please come along and tell me what to do?

Yesterday, we went for a walk. So we walked up through the Domain, and through the Botanical Gardens. It was very pretty. There were lots of bright orange flowers everywhere, and the wisteria was in flower, which was gorgeous. We went up to the rose garden, but there weren’t that many roses in flower yet. One was though. It’s a rose that’s an English rose, pale pink/peach in colour, and just happens to have the same name as we gave our daughter.

Someone had laid some flowers in another part of the rose garden. There were some cards with them, and being the nosy sort of person I am, I read them. There were two bouquets of flowers, and two cards. One said “To ***. You are always in our hearts. Grandma and Grandad.” The other said “Dear ***. We never got to meet you, but we will always love you. From your mum, dad and brother.” How beautiful? And how utterly heartbreaking?

On our way out of the gardens, I got quite excited as I saw a grey furry shape a short distance away in the grass. For some reason, as yet unknown, I decided it was a kangaroo. Of course, what else would it be in the middle of Sydney? I pointed it out and started squealing. I then realized that it wasn’t a kangaroo, but two ducks. Oh dear.

Otherwise there’s not much to say. I dyed my hair this morning, and managed to make the bathroom look like there had been a massacre in there. It’s quite a nice colour, though I haven’t been this dark in years, having been a bit of a highlight addict.

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4 responses to “A kangaroo, a duck or a b*ggered uterus?

  1. I know that my period has changed since I got older. I used to get it for 6 days and have slowly gone down to 2 days, and I don’t use tampons either. There isn’t any need. I have had the Merina Coil put in because I have had major problems from a tubal ligation, and I am hoping that it will stop my period altogether. I have shocking problems with ovulation pain and complications from the ligation.
    I am sure that your husband hasn’t forgotten about your daughter. As much as it would feel that way. I think I would have had the same reaction as you have though, if I was in the same situation. Sounds like you had a lovey day walking, Sydney does have some redeeming qualities, and its parks are one of them 🙂

    • Thank you. I agree that Sydney does have redeeming features – namely the parks, the harbour and the food… I will miss those when I go back to the lovely town of… er… Birmingham!
      I know he hasn’t really forgotten, he’s just buried it away, it just feels like that sometimes!
      I found the mirena coil (have just got a normal one now, as obviously suppressing my endometrium would be the wrong thing to do…) a godsend for my old heavy periods and period pain. I found that instead of curling up in the foetal position on the bathroom floor/throwing up/fainting every month, I could actually function with some occasional nurofen plus. It didn’t stop my periods, but made them much, much lighter. Hope it works for you.
      x

  2. Re: the uterus – I’m sorry it’s so stressful. I so wish it weren’t, and your periods were more ‘normal’ – though, my own mother had extremely short light periods her entire life and never had a problem getting or staying pregnant. I am crossing my fingers that All Is Well Within, and the coil is working as it should. Not that someone half a planet away looking wistful and losing the circulation in their left-finger-tips is of much practical use to you, but still.

    Argh. Anyway. On your behalf.

    As for Mr Wombat’s untwigness, my husband is quite similar. He has put it all away in a little box, taped said box shut, added a ‘do not open’ sticker, locked it in a safe, locked the safe in a filing-cabinet, and then buried the whole thing under a cross-roads at midnight. Eventually, with the help of a counsellor, we excavated the box, and H did care very much, and buried it away because it hurt so, and because he felt he had to be strong for me (common husbandly misconception, only one half of the partnership is allowed to have emotions at any one time. If we both feel emotional, it will tear a hole in the space-time continuum, aparantly). I pointed out I needed, not cold, hard, adamantine ‘strength’ (pigheadedness! No, strength! Pigheadedness! Strength!), but someone to hold my hand and walk with me through this awful lonely place, and with the counsellor’s help we eventually managed to insert this message into his brain – his idea of the right way to behave was, err, wrong. But he meant well. So, um, have you spoken to a counsellor together? Sometimes a referee is a good thing. Please ignore the above if this isn’t helpful or what you want to hear right now.

    But yes. I should think he knows her name. He has just locked it away in a place so safe he can’t get back into it right now. I’m so sorry, because it stings, to be so alone in those moments.

    If it’s the rose I’m thinking of, it’s a beautiful rose, and a beautiful name. Many hugs.

  3. Just…. thank you. You are a very lovely woman. And I do appreciate the finger-crossing. Just make sure your fingers don’t fall off. That would be bad.
    I think you’re right about the husband. I know he compartmentalises things scarily effectively, and also feels he has to be strong for me. Counselling is an idea, one I’m not averse to, having had it relatively recently myself. Hopefully we’ll be back in the UK in about 2 months, so something to think about if I haven’t managed to get him to dig up his feelings by then! I think I just need to talk to him about it, it’s just hard, and I’m not sure why, or quite how to.
    It probably is the rose you’re thinking of, and thank you. xxx

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