Except here that is. Don’t make the same mistake that Pregnancy-Obsessed Lady GP would no doubt make were I to see her regarding my absolutely ridiculous uterus. I have every confidence that she’d swear I could be, despite the coil, despite the rubbish endometrium, despite everything, she’d insist on yet more donations of my precious bodily fluids “just to check”. I’m certain she gets paid for every pregnancy test she does. She’s pregnant too, by the way.
I seem to be surrounded by women about to give birth. I had an email from a friend in the UK this morning telling me that I could just “get a surrogate.” If only it were that easy, sweetie. Obviously I’m not saying surrogacy is easy, far, far from it, I know that. Am not sure she does.
My friend, lets call her H, is pregnant. She was due yesterday in fact. I had the misfortune to see her on Sunday evening at church. A combination of a service talking about “how women will be saved by childbirth” (yeah, thanks for that, really. Does that mean that the church thinks the multitudes of infertile women and miscarrying women out there aren’t worth saving??) and how “women shouldn’t teach men” (um, how on earth would they ever learn anything then??), women in the congregation thinking that this is fine, and not at all sexist (where has feminism gone? Are feminism/equality and religion mutually exclusive??) and very pregnant H. H is a lovely woman, don’t get me wrong, but she did sit right in front of me, and then was crowded by excited gushing people asking her when she was due etc. I sat there thinking about our baby, who was due next Thursday, and how it wasn’t fair, and how I’d give any amount of anything, to have her back and still due.
I couldn’t look at H. I know it’s horrible of me, but I just couldn’t. She turned round and looked at me and I ran out of the church in tears. I did text her later to explain, and she was very understanding, but it was too much, and too unfair that we lost our baby. Too unfair that anyone loses their baby. I cried and cried all the way home, and again when I got home. It felt like it did when we first lost her. It felt so raw.
There is even a pregnant woman giving birth on TV right now… I have switched onto the cricket. I hate cricket.