Wheezing and Weight-lifting

Well, it’s official. After yesterdays’s epic voting, which apparently included “sausage sizzles” in some polling stations (they may force you to vote but at least they feed you while you fill in the enormous voting slips. Probably because you’d die of low blood sugar if they didn’t) Australia now has a hung parliament.

I actually find this quite amusing. Not only is it further proof that Australia follows the UK, despite how much they refute this fact, but I think it’s karma. When there was a hung parliament in the UK, what, 3-4 months ago now? The newspapers were full of stories about how indecisive the ‘Poms’ are, as they “couldn’t even choose a government successfully”. They spent rather a lot of column inches laughing at the situation in the UK, and now they’re in the same situation.

What’s more the choice for PM is between a woman who unceremoniously booted out the previous PM 2 months before the election, taking his spot with glee, and a man who likes to spend a lot of time in budgie-smugglers. Interesting choice. Not one I’d like to be fair. So they’re both wandering around trying to sweet-talk the Green Party and various independents, much like how the Labour party and the Tories were suddenly best friends with the Lib Dems a few months ago.

Enough politics now, I think I’ve officially bored myself. Am not a big fan of politics you see.

I have started going running again. I decided that it was a good idea to get fit, and to lose some weight, to try and keep the ovaries in check. The ovaries that, in the words of my gynaecologist: “Have a rather impressive number of follicles on them.” Nobody’s mentioned the dreaded PCOS words, but having googled it, I certainly have enough follicles… Plus I have read about all the horrible complications that Asherman’s Syndrome women who get pregnant have, and so I think that the fitter I am, and the more able to survive without my normal amount of blood, the better. Scary stuff.

So off I jogged, however, I had to walk after maybe a few hundred metres clutching my throat, wheezing and saying “I’m dying! My throat’s closed up!” I also discovered that one should be very picky about the underwear one wears when running. Not just a sports bra; that much is obvious or I tend to get very sore and have to clutch my chest instead of my throat; but knickers. I was wearing some that are normally pretty comfortable, but they spent the entirety of the run getting wedged up my bum. Very uncomfortable, and rather unattractive trying to fish them out while simultaneously clutching my throat and wheezing.

Today, I’m off to visit needle-woman again, for another session of being stabbed. I’m quite looking forward to it actually, as it was so relaxing last time. However she did say that she was being very gentle last time, so I wonder what not gentle is? Perhaps approaching me with carving knives? Or shooting the needles in from across the room? We’ll see. Despite the hideous taste of the hot-chocolate-pretending chinese herbs, I do actually have a bit more energy. It can’t be from the running, I’ve only been three times…

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4 responses to “Wheezing and Weight-lifting

  1. You make me laugh out loud!

  2. Not gentle is when they STAB YOU IN THE PERINEUM! Bwahahahah!

    Exercise is SO amazingly tedious and uncomfortable. I regard anyone who does any of it as a tutelary deity of will-power, so I must now worship you just a little bit in case any of it rubs off.

    I am amused that the Australians spent so much time mocking Britain’s Hung Parliament. Over here, the news media are retaliating by treating the Aussie election with benign indifference. It took several clicks down the layers on the BBC news site to find ‘Australia election: Talks start after hung vote.’ Rather a stinging riposte to the mockery, yes?

    • Hello and welcome!
      I must admit after having read about you being stabbed in the perineum I was somewhat nervous that they might do the same to me. Not yet, but she keeps finding new places to needle me everytime I go, so I guess I have to wait and see!
      Aussies seem to be obsessed with British news, despite the fact they claim to be a totally independent nation. So much so, in fact that in their local free paper there is an article entitled “Dog poo may cost an eye” about some kid in Manchester who wiped her eye with dog poo. International headlines? I didn’t think so! I am quite pleased it doesn’t go both ways… the rising above of, and all that!
      x

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