How Not to Make Brownies

And no, I don’t mean small girls in brown dresses. Or yellow jumpers and brown culottes, which is what I think I used to wear as a brownie. Either that or my mother bought me Really Bad Clothes when I was growing up.

When I first saw the recipe for marshmallow chocolate brownies, I was excited. It doesn’t take a lot; anything with chocolate in it tends to excite me these days, being off the booze (the vascular dementia drugs give me horrible headaches. I have pretty much had a permanent headache for the past 3 weeks, which is annoying to say the least. I have worked out ways to keep it under control though, by having NO caffeine (sob!) and no alcohol (bit of a bugger, like my wine) and eating on a very regular basis (like every hour or so)). So I was imagining gooey chocolatey goodness, with soft, fluffy marshmallows like little stars in it…

I followed the recipe. That was my first mistake apparently, because it told me to bake said brownies in a hot oven for 20 minutes. I did so, than removed them. The top was burnt, and they felt suspiciously soft.

“Oh well,” I thought to myself, “I’ve never made this recipe before, maybe they’re supposed to be like that.” I dutifully left them to cool and did some work for my course.

When they were cool and I tried to cut them up, I discovered that although the top was burnt (due I think to the marshmallows being in close proximity to the top?) the underneath was rather more gooey than I had anticipated. Imagine a burnt crust on top of raw brownie mix, and you’ve got the right idea.

Annoying, as I had to take those brownies somewhere. And I didn’t have any more ingredients. What to do? I ended up putting them back in the oven for another 30 minutes. After which they were cooked, but, well, had a nice topping of charcoal. Yum.

Weirdly, they actually tasted OK. Quite nice, dense a bit chewy, like a good brownie should be. No sign of the marshmallows though. They were completely gone. Bastards.

Next time, I’ll be making HFF’s ginger cake…

Chocolate biscuits by the bucket-load

I finally had an appointment today to get the prescription for my meds. WHY the consultant couldn’t have scribbled on a prescription pad when we saw him 6 weeks ago, I do NOT know, because that was all the doctor did today. I could have saved myself 6 weeks of emailing…

But, getting the requisite bit of paper and depositing it in the hospital pharmacy was not as simple as it sounds. The doctor rang pharmacy to check they had the meds, as they’re a bit weird. They did, and put them on the side, ready to be dispensed. All good.

I toddled off to the pharmacy, where I was told I would have to wait 30mins. “OK,” I thought to myself, “that’s fine, I’ll go and get a coffee.” I wandered over to the coffee shop, had to have tea instead because they’d run out of decaf coffee (one of the meds causes palpitations… seeing as I already get them sometimes, it would appear to be prudent to give up caffeine for the time being…). I sat, drinking my luke-warm tea (apparently they haven’t heard of boiling water in the NHS) only to be rudely interrupted by a man PUTTING HIS NEWBORN BABY ON MY TABLE! I was minding my own business, when he obviously thought she was too heavy to hold at all of, what, 7 pounds? And just plonked her straight down on to the table in front of me. I was somewhat taken aback by this, but couldn’t find the words to say “What are you doing you weirdo? Can’t you see I’m sitting here?!” as she was surrounded, instantly, like flies on shit, by a group of women cooing over her and tickling her.

Is this normal behaviour??

I escaped, not long afterwards, leaving the rest of my tea to the newborn, and back to the pharmacy, sure that my prescription would be ready, and I would be able to make a quick exit and get home. I didn’t count on the fact that I would be sitting there a full 90 minutes later, still waiting. Yes, two hours to do a prescription. The weirdest part of it all was that it wasn’t the vascular dementia drug they had problems with giving to an under-30, but the Vitamin E… Apparently they’d never seen a dose that high before. Call me weird, but I didn’t honestly think that 1000iu of Vitamin E was that strange… They kept wondering if it was supposed to be Vitamin D (I know, because I was eavesdropping… Nothing else to do you see…). Even the woman with her very large bag of IVF injectables escaped at least an hour before I did!

So I drove home, took the dog for a walk and am now having a large cup of (hot) tea and half a packet of digestives caramels to make myself feel better. All ruined, of course, by the fact that I went and read the information leaflets for the meds and decided I don’t want to take them…

 

Sprout, anyone?

Or, if anyone’s bored, would they like to join me in a raid? I’m thinking of using HFF’s idea and getting  a battering ram to storm the hospital as it seems to be the only way I’m going to get my hands on the medication… There has been little movement over the festive season, despite chasing.

I am fed up. I am so fed up, I’m watching Lord of the Rings, which I tend to reserve for Specially Fed Up Occasions. And I’ve peeled a giant pile of sprouts for tea, hence the title. (Don’t worry, we’re also eating turkey. I appear to have forgotten Christmas has finished.)

So to answer a few questions – my particular cocktail contains: Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Aspirin, Pentoxyphylline (reassuringly used for the treatment of vascular dementia… er…) Oestrogen (patches + oral +/- injections) and Viagra. So don’t worry, HFF, I think by mentioning that I’ll be sending *those* visitors here myself! What I need from you guys is all your thickening, juicy, plumping thoughts that it works, please!

It’s a risky business, though. Because of my adhesions, I have higher risks than a *normal* IVF cycle. I hesitate to call it normal, because really, when is an IVF cycle ever normal? I don’t know if my uterus will stretch to accommodate a growing baby, and adhesions will interfere with normal placental function. The chances of a normal delivery are remote (but really, if I get that far, I really don’t care about that!).

Anyway. My period is late. I feel decidedly unpregnant, and am certain it will start in the next 24 hrs, but really, have these pelvic organs no manners? I’ve had cramping for the last 3 days. I mean, it’s just rude, isn’t it? If it’s not going to fulfil its primary function, it could at least be polite, start my period on time, and Not Hurt. That’s just good manners!